April 5, 2010

I am so overjoyed now that Our Miracle Baby, Eragon Cade has arrived. We have been awaiting our baby’s arrival for so long and we are blessed to finally hold him in our arms. Unless you have experienced Hyperemesis Gravidarum yourself; you may be unaware of all of the struggles that one endures due to the lack of knowledge of this serious and devastating pregnancy disease, disorder or condition. After being unable to eat or drink during my pregnancies and having feeding tubes placed in my stomach for 9 months to keep my baby and me alive. I find myself feeling as if I am not going to get enough to eat now. I am battling with this feeling everyday.

It seems as though my body stores everything that I eat as fat. I just want to be healthy again! I gained weight because I knew I wanted to have another baby just in case I didn't receive proper care and for good reason. However, it is so hard to lose once you have put the weight on. I feel horrible at this weight… I woke up on Saturday and I could barely walk. My left hip felt like it was out of place or something and my right shoulder was hurting extremely bad and I could not lift it. I have been taking Tylenol to ease the pain. My husband massaged me to help ease the pain; he in so supportive! I am the luckiest woman in the world. I don't feel attractive; even though he does his best to always show his affection for me. I have never been this big in my life, so, it is hard for me to accept that I am still beautiful.

I weigh 225lbs right now. After I had Eragon I was down to 207lbs and now that I can eat again the weight is piling on fast. I feel like I am on a roller coaster and I keep screaming I want to get off and no one hears me. I have to do something quick to stop the weight gain. I am scared if I don’t do something now that it will be too late. Together my husband and I have 5 beautiful children to help raise and they are such a joy to live for and being over weight is not safe for anyone. Especially, someone whose body has been through what mine has.

My goal is to be at my healthy weight of 145lbs. I know that I can do this! Those of us who have experienced HG; battle with many different complications and it is time that we help each other through it. I tell myself each day that I am strong and I can get through this after surviving HG. Anyone who can go without food or anything by mouth for 9 months can overcome just about anything. Not just anyone could survive HG. It takes strength; and courage.

Remember those who have survived HG, fought so hard to have their babies! We fought for our own life and our baby/babies survival; now we want to fight for our health and survival. I wake up in the morning and I look in the mirror and I cry! As I watch the tears roll down my cheeks, I ask myself, “Who is the stranger in the mirror staring back at me”? I don't want to be the woman in the mirror staring back at me! I want to be alive for my children and I am not going to allow HG to steal anymore of my life away from me or my family.

I promise from here on out; I am going to take my life back. I want all of us who have suffered from Hyperemesis Gravidarum to stand together and take our lives back. Scream to the highest mountain top that you are the strength from within; letting everyone know that you are never going to allow HG to cripple you and your family anymore.

I want us to look our miracles in the eyes and say I love you and I fought to keep us alive during my weakest point in life; when I was pregnant with you. To survive Hyperemesis Gravidarum is truly a miracle.

Everyday that I awoke to a new day, when I was pregnant, I was surprised! Everyday I felt as if it were my last. I thought many days that I was going to die. Sometimes, the pain was so bad I wished I would have died instead of feeling the pain that I had to suffer. It was at those points of weakness I thought of my beautiful children and remembered that they were the reason why I would go through this again. If I didn’t go through this I would not have my babies. They truly give my life meaning. Without them I would not be whole.

I am meeting with my doctor tomorrow to discuss my options. Whatever, decision we make is going to be best for me and my family. This journey is dedicated to my Husband Perry, and our five Beautiful children. Never forgetting Our Babies Who are Angels in Heaven; whose lives were stolen by HG!

My Game Plan; Eat Healthier, Exercise, Support Group, Drink Plenty of Water and Blog Daily to Change my life and everyone around me. Keep a journal and help others not lose focus.

Game Plan	yes	no
Eat 2,500 calories daily
Drink 15oz of water every hr awake
Exercise
Support Group
Post Blog