The New Me; Post HG!

I went to bed last night thinking about my Blog Post for today. I kept thinking to myself what is it that I want others to be able to relate to? How can I help others cope with their struggles during HG and Post HG? It was then that I realized something; I am still laying there in that bed; stuck on bed rest, tubes coming out of my stomach, unable to eat and drink. My mindset is still there; I have lost focus of who I am and where I am. I realized last night that the most important step I want to take is to brake down the walls that I have built up during each pregnancy. I may have to tare them down one brick at a time; revealing a small piece of who I am; whatever it takes to find me again.

I am still that woman who once had a nice figure, who stood tall always displaying great confidence, Eager to express myself to others. Realizing that I am still her gave me hope that the woman staring back at me in the mirror is not me. She could never force me to stay trapped and feel as though I am never going to be me again. I built these walls during my struggles while pregnant doing my best to make sure that my baby and I were going to survive Hyperemesis; it is my job now to tear them down.

These thoughts of failure, defeat, and loneliness originated while I was laying in my bed praying for the survival of my baby and I. These thoughts should not remain the foundation of my life from here on out. It is my job to create new thoughts and re-establish who I am. I want to believe that I am an amazing wife, mother, sister, daughter, and friend. I never want to lose focus of who I am again. Always believing that I am special. I think somewhere along the way I lost my direction and believed somehow that I was less than who I am.

Today, I looked in the mirror and I liked the woman smiling back at me. I finally saw her for who she was on the inside and told her that it is time we worked as a team and started transforming the outside to become a healthier ME and psychologically sound. It is important to note that HG takes a lot from a person psychologically as well; due to the malnutrition,dehydration and concerns for their unborn child(ren) and their own life as well.